PLEASE ONLY READ THESE NOTES OR LISTEN TO THESE RECORDINGS IF YOU HAVE ASKED PERMISSION FROM LAMA SARAHNI TO ATTEND THIS COURSE OR OTHERWISE LISTEN TO THIS COURSE

All right, welcome back. We are Mahamudra study group. It's January 13th, 2026.

Let's gather our minds here as we usually do. Please bring your attention to your breath until you hear from me again. Now bring to mind that being who for you is a manifestation of ultimate love, ultimate compassion, ultimate wisdom, and see them there with you gazing at you with their unconditional love for you, smiling at you with their holy great compassion, their wisdom radiating from them, that beautiful golden glow encompassing you in its light.

And then we hear them say, bring to mind someone you know who's hurting in some way, feel how much you would like to be able to help them, recognize how the worldly ways we try fall short, and how wonderful it will be when we can also help in some deep and ultimate way, a way through which they will go on to stop their distress forever. Deep down, we know this is possible. Working with emptiness and karma, we glimpse how it's possible.

So I invite you to grow that wish into a longing, and that longing into an intention. And with your strong intention, turn your mind back to your precious holy being. We know that they know what we need to know, what we need to learn yet, what we need to do yet, to become one who can help this other in this deep and ultimate way.

And so we ask them, please, please, please, teach me that, show me that. Help me become like you. And they are so happy that we've asked, of course they agree.

Our gratitude arises. We want to offer them something exquisite. And so we think of the perfect world they are teaching us how to create.

We imagine we can hold it in our hands, and we offer it to them, following it with our promise to practice what they teach us, using our refuge prayer to make our promise. Here is the great earth, filled with fragrant incense and covered with a blanket of flowers. The great mountain, four lands, wearing the jewel of the sun and the moon.

In my mind, I make them the paradise of a Buddha and offer it all to you. By this deed, may every living being experience the pure world. I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the highest community.

Through the merit that I do in sharing this class and the rest, may we reach Buddhahood for the sake of every living being. I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the highest community. Through the merit that I do in sharing this class and the rest, may we reach Buddhahood for the sake of every living being.

I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the highest community. Through the merit that I do in sharing this class and the rest, may all beings totally awaken for the benefit of every single other. So I need to stop class early today.

I have a doctor's appointment and new health insurance, so it's going to take me longer to check in there. So my timer is going to go off at 8 40, my time 8 40, and then I have to get up and run away fast. So sorry.

Then I also thought, since we've been off for a while, to read together the root text to remind us where we've come. And we really don't have so much left in Lo Tsongchak Gyaltsen's self-commentary to that root text. So we'll read, and then we'll meditate, and then I'll talk a little bit.

And then my timer will go off and I'll run away. So here's my share. Now that I know how to put two up at once, I only want one.

Do you see two texts or just one? Just one. Hot dog. Natty, help me.

She taught me a new trick. Yay. Thank you, Natty.

Okay. So the Victory Road to the Great Seal by our hero, my hero, the first Panchen Lama Lo Tsongchak Gyaltsen. I bow down to Mahamudra.

And I'm just going to go across my screen. And if you wish to read, read. As you're reading, recognize you are sharing the holy dharma with your group and with the whole world.

So on the top of my screen is Ms. Tom. Would you start with the first verse, please? My holy lama, in you is the entire store of wisdom. From a billion enlightened beings, yet you masquerade in the dance of donning the saffron robes to you.

The one who grants to me the three kindness, with deep respect, do I press my head to the lotus beneath your feet. Thank you. Well done.

Roxanna, please. Yes, thank you. Mahamudra is the essential drop within the hearts of every victor, past, present, or future.

It is the core of the meaning of the great ocean of teachings, open or secret. And so, in the footsteps of every mighty yogi who has gone to bliss, I will now set forth a light to make this practice of Mahamudra crystal clear. Thank you.

Roshna, this one goes on two pages. Mahamudra reaches everywhere. It is the nature of everything.

There are no words to describe the indivisible diamond realm of mind. I place my head with great respect at the holy feet of my matchless lama, lord among yogis, master of all, who lays the teachings bare. Janet? Following the footsteps of that highest yogi, Dharma Vajra, and his spiritual son, who distilled from that great ocean of galuk advices, both open and secret, a single drop of the essence, the perfect summary.

I grant to you this book of guidance on the practice of Mahamudra. Thank you. Vika, you can go down to here, please.

Thank you, Holy Mama. Divide the teaching into three, the prelude, the main event, and the conclusion. Here now is the first of the three.

Since refuge is the entrance to the teaching of the Buddha and the wish to the control pillar, holding up the greater way, just nothing worse is not enough. Fervently take refuge and bring the wish into your heart. Thank you.

Natty, please, if you wish. Whether or not you can see the reality of your own mind depends on how well you have gathered goodness and cleared away the dirt. This is you too.

So purify your broken vows with the hundred syllables, complete exactly hundred thousand mantras, then do the hundred frustrations as many cycles as you can. Thank you. Katya, now beg for help from your root Lama, the one inseparable in nature from every Buddha of the past, present, or future.

Go to them again and again from the bottom of your heart. Thank you. Mike, are you there? I'm here.

Although there are myriad schools of thought on the subject of Mahamudra, they can all be grouped into the open and secret ways. This is the Mahamudra of Suraha and the exalted Nagarjuna. This is the Mahamudra of Naropa and Maitreya.

Thank you. And Dinara? Thank you. It is the deepest core within the surpassed class of the secret word illuminated in the collected works, attaining and the essence.

Then there is the former one of the great medium and brief, which teaches us directly how to meditate on emptiness. Thank you. Sumati, do you care to read? Sure.

How far? Come down to here. As that highest realized being, Nagarjuna has stated, there is no other path to freedom any different than this. In keeping with his true intent, in the words of the Lamas of my lineage, now at last the time has come to give the instructions on Mahamudra, the way to meet your mind face to face.

Tom, back to you. The spontaneous capsule, the practice of the five, balancing a bitter taste, instruction in four syllables, putting our torments to rest, cutting off the object, the great completion, a book of notes on the middle way view. Thank you.

And Roxana? Thank you. It has been imburdened with so many different names, but anybody skilled in both the text and arts of reasoning, or any yogi who has had the actual experience can delve into their true meaning and see that they all come down to the same basic idea. Thank you.

And Roshna? There are two methods we can use to undertake this practice, using the view to reach meditation and using meditation to reach the view. Here we will be following the latter of the two. And Janet? Atop a seat conducted for reaching meditation, fix yourself in the seven pointed posture of the body.

Go ahead, please. Clear away with the nine fold cycle of the breath. Learn to call the mental fluff from the crystalline awareness.

Thank you. We've learned to do that pretty well, have we? Vika? Thank you. Clear away with the nine fold cycle of the breath.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Then with the heart of pure virtue, take refuge and bring up the wish as we did before.

Meditate on the profound path, the yoga of the Lama, and after you have backed down, earnestly, a hundred times, watch the Lama dissolve into you. And Nati? Don't let any conception drag you into hopes of fears within this state of wavering appearances. Go and taste the waters of deeper meditation where there is no movement whatsoever.

Just like falling into sleep or losing consciousness. Don't try to stop the thousands which come to mind, the thoughts that which come to mind. Set yourself.

Sorry. And Katja? Set yourself up at a distance of undistracted awareness. Use the center of the mind to catch it running here or there.

Continue. All right. Then hone on your focus to gaze nakedly upon its true nature, crystal unaware.

Whatever mental picture happens to arise, meet it face to face for what it is. All right. And Mike? Or be like a, or be like a blade master, chopping off the head of any conceptual thought that dares to show its face.

Then at the end of battle, when you're staying still, let go without relinquishing awareness. And Tom? Oh no, sorry. Dinara? Locking down then, let it loose.

This is where to leave your mind. So they say, and furthermore, if you release this mind of yours, all tangled up in knots, have no doubt that you will be released. Loosen up just as it stays without getting distracted.

And when you look into the face of any thoughts that come your way, they simply vanish by themselves, fading into emptiness. And Tom? Then even as you stay there, still investigate the mind. You'll see its emptiness unveiled, luminous and clear.

This is known as mixing the moving with the, with the still. So don't stop. Dinara, center please.

So don't stop an image. If it happens to arise, recognize it as a movement. Stay in its true nature.

It's similar to the metaphor of a bird held captive on a boat who tries to fly away. And Roshna? It's just like the raven who flies from a boat. Once he circles round in every direction, he'll come back to land on it again.

And Janet? If you continue in this way, you'll see the face of meditation, crystalline and bright, unobscured by anything at all. And since it has no solid form, it is like the sky, inherently empty. And anything that crosses it is likewise crystal clear.

Thank you. Vika? Thank you. If you release this mind of yours, all tangled up in knots, have no doubt that you will be released.

Should I proceed? Locking down, then let it loose. This is where to leave your mind. And Nati? These days, almost every master meditating in these snow-capped peaks is sitting with a single voice, singing with a single voice.

When you see directly this ultimate nature of your mind, it is, of course, by utilizing meditative vision, but it cannot be defined. You cannot point and say, it is this. The guidance pressed into our hands by the able buddhas is to hold the mind loose, without grasping onto anything that comes to mind.

Katya? What they say is true, of course, but Lobsang Chuky Gyaltsen will tell you how it is. This technique is an extraordinary way to tweak beginners into reaching mental stillness, and it is also the way to encounter the deceptive state of your mind face to face. And Mike? But how to meet the ultimate nature of your mind face to face? Now I will explain to you the way to go about it, by setting forth the whispered words of my holy root lama.

This is still yours. The one who holds the wisdom of the enlightened buddhas, the one who lures us through the guise of holding saffron robes, the one who washes clean away the darkness of my mind. And Thao? And I agree that one is free from all elaboration in either the cycle or beyond, free from any extreme of existence or the like, within the deep space of a perfect sessionist meditation.

And Roxana? Then once you've emerged from it, if you stop to look around, you'll find a world in name alone, simply a projection. Shall I go on? Please. The interdependent workings of things arise infallibly.

They seem to rise up on their own, just like a dream or a mirage, a moon inside a lake, or a magical display. How beautiful. We could keep that in mind, your lama.

Roxana? The play of this appearing world in no way negates emptiness, and emptiness is not a refutation of appearances. And Janet? When emptiness and interdependence become one and the same, that's the pure and perfect path called forth into being. And Jinara? It is that wise old recluse, known as Lopsanchuki Gyelsang, who has spoken this advice to you.

And by the virtue I have done, may every single wandering soul quickly rise to victory by traveling this path, this one and only door to peace. And Sumathi? May all beings be happy. Yay.

All right, so let's do our meditation. Like hopefully that had more meaning to hear it again this time. Let's sit with it.

What do I need to do? Okay, set your body as you usually do. Once you have it set, leave it still, forget it, and bring your focus to your breath. That sharp, clear alert focus on a specific point at the tip of a nostril to gather all of that mental consciousness up, up and front, adjust your focus, your clarity, your intensity.

And once you have that bright, clear state of mind, you keep it bright and clear. As you relax, open, like shift back or back and down into that watcher state, still bright, clear, fascinated, keenly alert to any sounds arising, first noticing what arises with the sound as an identity, let it go, sink into observing it at subtler and subtler levels, drawing that alert focus into inner sounds or inner sensations. Simply keep keenly observing what's arising, letting it pass without following, expand the observer to anything that arises, what we call sounds, what we call sensations, what we call emotions, what we call thought, being the keen, alert observer.

And at the same time, completely uninterested in what they are, what they seem to be, thinking more deeply into that level of the constant flow of appearances, shape-shifting, all mental images ripening, passing. Your observer is enjoying this constant shape-shift, even if there seems to be a pause between shape-shifts, that pause is also an appearance. And so now to your observer, observing, add your understanding that with every appearance, there is that appearances emptiness, it's no self nature, the fact that it is a ripening mental seed, your own ripening mental seed and nothing but the whole flow happening, the flow of ripening results of past behaviors, empty of any other reality than that.

Get it in words first, your words, and then drop the words and know that with every appearing shape-shift, you are aware of the emptiness of each shape-shift. We'll stay four more minutes. Jack, are you still just watching it flow? Clarity, intensity.

Jack, I know as we come out, let arise a mental note, all of this appearances ripening and empty of self-nature. And so bring your mind up the levels, let inner sensations be sensations and recognize appearances and nothing but inner sounds, outer sounds, there are birds singing, appearances and nothing but awareness of your body, ripening appearances and nothing but aware of your outer room, what you're going to see when you open your eyes, appearances and nothing but when you feel back up at that level, open your eyes and impose, oh, another appearance and nothing but, and then take a stretch. So how's it going with your Mahamudra meditation? Anybody care to share? Maybe it's not going at all, that's fine too.

Are you noticing an ability to have a more subtle awareness in your meditation, more subtly aware of things at more subtle levels, meaning able to not go immediately to the label of the thing that's arising. Can you get to the more subtle level yet? It's all right if you say no, because this is a practice that really does take some frequent effort, frequent regular effort. I guess because we're in a lot of classes, a lot of different meditations, so I don't do this one every day, but I have noticed that in my daily life, much more of the recognition of things are of their nature and so they could be anything.

And so, you know, that whole train of thought in my daily life more so than in meditation. Good, good. That's really where it's pertinent.

Good. Yes, Roxanna. Thank you.

The question that you just asked, does it have to do when we are more aware of all of our consciousness, for example, what is arising in our consciousness? Mm-hmm. Yes, but I would say yes. You're finding a greater separation between you, the watcher, and what's arising, recognizing it's coming out.

Right, with the feelings, with the thoughts that arise. Yeah, good. I have the seeds for when Roxanna is saying something really, really helpful, she freezes.

I don't get to hear it. Like I freeze, I don't know why. I speak and I freeze.

I know. The same happened upstairs, so I just came down. When you ask how you're doing better, but yeah, I do say that I am getting a little bit better at that, at recognizing those subtle levels.

Thank you, yay, so we're rejoicing. Yes, Mike. I think for me, and in that meditation that we just did specifically, it was like I could, because I was so focused on considering everything as a ripening and arising and nothing but, like I would hear a car go by and I would start labeling that as like, oh, it's noisy, like, oh, that car is noisy.

And then I would start feeling some level of upset or discomfort. Like it was like, label the car, label the noise, and then it generates an emotion. And then I start saying like, oh, well, now I'm having an emotion and this is a bad experience.

And then I go, oh, wait, wait, wait, ripening, arising, nothing but, and then like pull myself back to, you know, and then another car could go by and then I could be like, okay, that was just just an arising. And then we'd be sitting there for a little bit. And then the same thing would happen.

And I would notice like, you know, it was like, where can I catch myself? Like, can I catch myself? Like, when I hear the sound before I label it, car making sound, or before, or like, can I not catch it there? But I can, I can catch it after the emotion starts to arise, like, at what point exactly can I catch my like, labeling system and, and put it back on the, you know, ripening and nothing but, and then like, detach, you know, not get all wound up in this process. Right. Right.

Nice. That's perfect. No, Lobsangchuky Gelson says, on one level, this practice is a trick to get people to stillness.

So I relate to all that Mike was explaining the process, because I still do that. But when we do that, without losing the train of exploration into, oh, I need to prepare for that meeting car. That's being able to do it without distraction.

It seems like the whole thing is distraction. But we're focused on the task at hand, without distraction, then we're checking for it, am I focused on the task at hand, with clarity, with intensity. So it's like, as Mike was explaining the process he's going through, if you're doing that bright, clear, eager, exploring, having fun with it.

That's a good meditation. And it feels like no, no, I'm not even getting to the awareness part, I'm still at the label making struggle. Fine.

It will grow into doing that at more and more subtle, subtle, subtle levels, which become beyond words, into just experience, into sitting there in this flow of the shape shift of appearances and emptiness. So it's a stepwise practice. So thank you for showing us that.

Dinara. Yes, thank you, Viyalama. I wanted to share also that I have kind of deeper realizations of, for example, my body.

And I was like, is this my body that I don't like, for example, at the moment? It's also coming from me. So it's kind of have deeper understanding, if I may say so, that there is an availability and something is ripening from me, and I see this way. So that's my current thing.

And the same about my husband and other things. And if I may, can I ask a short question about this meditation? So if I want to combine them together with the Thousand Angels practice, where do I do the ninefold breath? Is it before the prayer or before I go into the meditation? That's the question I have. Yeah.

You could actually do it in either place. So I would suggest you try on for size doing the ninefold breath before you even start the Thousand Angels prayer. Try it that way for a week or so.

And then try it where you do the ninefold breath after you have the Lama in the heart. And before you do your meditation session. Okay, try it both ways and see what you feel.

Gives you a greater pull your mind in feeling. Okay, thank you. Anything else? Okay.

So thank you for sharing. Mm hmm. You know, let's take our break before.

Because we only have a few minutes before break time. Anyway, let's take our break now. Yes.

I mean, a funny place of obviously, you've designed everything optimally in your wisdom. But I'm wondering, if we ended class at 835 to give you extra time would say you would be less hectic and less running around would be planting seeds of giving you time to be less hectic. So I'm torn between even asking I'm embarrassed because you know best, but also maybe offering you time is and you being safer not running.

Water, please. Let's see where we are in class. You set your timer for 835.

And I have mine set for 840, which was designed to get me there in time. And we'll see where I am. When the 835 goes off.

How's that? I'm in the middle of a thought. That'll be the clue that I've got five more minutes. Okay, I'll just I'll indicate it by raising a hand and then taking it down.

Instead of interrupting. Good plan. Thank you.

Yikes. One more confused. Anyway, then anyway, that it's okay.

So that meditation that we did, it was only the first part of a full Mahamudra practice, because we were only focusing on the appearances like the object side of our moment by moment experience. And then Mahamudra, I Mahamudra meditation could then include the awareness of the mind in that process. And then the third step is the awareness of the me the subject side, the piece, the part of the experience that is the subject side.

And we do the same process of becoming keenly aware of the ripening, the appearing, the appearing, appearing, and then use this other part of our experience to know the empty nature of whatever it is that appears. So Mahamudra at its ultimate level, is reaching that direct experience of the emptiness of the subject side of the me because it's going to include all the rest of it. The to reach that direct experience of the no self nature of the me.

Clearly, we have to get the me really clear as an appearing thing and nothing but and to get there, we need to get really clear about the awareness of me and other as an appearing and nothing but and to get there, we need to become really clear, aware of how the object side of our experience is appearing and nothing but the emptiness side. So in this meditation, which is course 17, class two, like we are almost done with our training in Mahamudra. She brought us to just get really more adept at staying at that awareness of the ripenings, the object side that's happening.

And then where Lobsangchuki Gyaltsen's commentary takes us at this point is pointing out the the I'm, I'm failing to find the word that, sorry, I can't get it that the, the fact that with any appearance, there has to be emptiness. So that there can be an appearance and that there's no emptiness without an appearance. And where he's going to take us, we won't get to it.

I don't think in this class is, and how does that, how does that reveal to us that thing we call karma, right? Our question would be, how does karma work? So he's going to go into this infallibility of karma because of this in, in, in indivisibility of appearance and the empty nature of the appearance. So we're starting out with just of the objects, but we understand that I can't even have an object to explore without having a consciousness of the object and a me having the consciousness of the object. And of course, I'm still thinking of all of those things.

As I hear my say the words, as if they are three separate things, which they are not, are they, right? They are all the appearance happening and nothing, but, but we can't get there. We can't hold that on three things as one thing until we go through each one of them separately. So mama Christie asked the question, no, is it, is it true that there's always an, an appearance happening always seems like, yes, right.

Because that's what it is to, that's, that's what it is to be is an appearance. Can there be an emptiness without an appearance of something? No. So I think we've already come to the conclusion that there's that ultimate reality is not this big, vast emptiness that exists, that everything comes out of according to our seeds, right? Do we have that clear in our own minds? Even when it seems like the, whatever scripture we happen to be reading, they say, think about emptiness, you know, that vast emptiness, like vast as outer space does our mind.

I mean, I know my mind immediately brings up a picture of this big, vast emptiness. And then my training says, no, that's not possible. There has to be appearances for there to be an emptiness of anything.

So then the question would come up, yeah, well then what about during the direct perception of emptiness? Doesn't there still have to be an appearance happening in order for the emptiness that we are experiencing directly to be experienced directly. And yet they say very clearly your experience is unexplainable, like water poured into water, indistinguishable. It seems like what they describe as we go into the direct experience of the emptiness of self and so everything.

You know, my own mind is trying to conceptualize that and by conceptualizing it, I mistake it because by conceptualizing, then there's a thing that I'm experiencing, but there has to be a thing or else we couldn't have the experience of emptiness. Like how do we really get there if the direct perception of emptiness is finally being free of all those appearances? That we mistake for having their own nature. It has to also have an appearing side, but it can't have an appearing side because we're in the direct experience of no self-nature of anything, of everything.

Then doesn't that mean anything and everything has to be there to be no self-natured experience of? It really is a conundrum. Like how can we really experience something directly without an appearance? And you know, as we try to grapple with it, it's the experience happening of the direct experience, they say, is the appearing thing happening so that you can be in the emptiness of that experience. And that what's unique to that direct experience is the fact that the appearance, we're not aware of the appearance, but it's like, wait a minute, that doesn't, that's not acceptable either.

Because if there's something that I'm not aware of, it's not ripening for me right now. So it really is a conundrum. And it's one of those things that we can't resolve by explanation, by conceptual explanation.

We can hash it out with logic and come to a conclusion that's still conceptual, but in order to get it right, that only happens once we come out of its direct experience. And then it's like, oh, and you still can't conceptualize it verbally well enough to convey it accurately to somebody else, which is why Geshe-la always says that the new Arya is like, I don't, I don't, I don't, like water poured into water, just can't distinguish. So when we're talking about recognizing appearances as projections, right? We have all our words, our terms that we use.

We use projection, meaning an image breaking out of a seed that lays over information that makes it into the identity. And maybe first it's the identity of pot on stove, and then it's the identity of no color shape, or more subtly the identity of experience happening right now, or more subtle identity of a movement of the mind, or a more subtle identity of just some emotion shift, right? Whatever the appearance happening is. So we have the word projection.

We have the word, the thing that appears. We have the word name and term. We have the word karma ripening, right? Do you have any other words that you're using to label, to recognize what we mean by the process of a seed ripening? And do we mean the same thing by all those terms? And if we do, why do we have so many terms? So it's something to play with in your own contemplation time.

When I say projection, what is my deep reaction to that? What do I really mean when I use the word projection? And to get a sense of that, I'm finding through my career with Maha Mudra, is my Maha Mudra practice efforts has made it such that when I hear myself say a word, I can feel the way my mind takes it. And it's so frustrating because most of the time my mind takes it. And then another piece of mind, my mind recognizes that, oh, that's mistaken.

But it's this heightened awareness that develops from this particular kind of meditation that allows you to be this witness of your own thinking. And then kind of checking, do I have it right or don't I? So back to the words that we're using to remind ourselves, what I'm experiencing is the result of my own past behavior and nothing but. Like that's too long to say as you're pouring your tea or as somebody's yelling at us, what are your catchphrases? Like find a catchphrase that you can use so that it's loaded with meaning.

Projection, nothing but, karma, whatever will help. They all are indicating this deep understanding of nothing, I can't experience anything outside of my own mind's karmic seeds ripening. There's nothing that exists outside of my own karmic seeds ripening.

And we think, of course, there are things that exist outside of my own karma ripening. But how would we know about them? It's like, outer space, right? Okay, I know about outer space. Okay, so if there always has to be an appearing something in order for emptiness to be there to be experienced, how do we ever get to the direct perception of emptiness, which they say, is experiencing emptiness and nothing but.

Is there ultimate reality that we can experience? And in a translator class last night, right, there was that whole punchline. It's like there is no ultimate reality. But did you just check what your mind did? No ultimate reality, what? There has to be ultimate reality because that's what we're, that's the experiencing, the experiencing it directly is the doorway to the end of all suffering.

There has to be ultimate reality. Well, what's wrong with my reaction to there is no ultimate reality. Phrase, there's no ultimate reality in it from it without an ultimate reality.

Well, wait, then doesn't that mean if samsara is an ultimate reality, doesn't that mean there always has to be samsara in order for there to be an ultimate reality to experience? Does that mean we can never stop suffering, right? What good is all of this if it isn't true that we can bring an end to all suffering. So it must not be true that an ultimate reality has to be samsara. If ultimate reality means the emptiness of something, why does it have to be samsara, a broken world, a suffering world to be the opposite of that? Any appearance is the opposite of ultimate reality.

Any appearance is empty of its own nature, whether it's a pure appearance or an impure appearance, whether it's an appearance that is a result of a pure deed or an impure deed, its appearance is empty of self-nature and that's its ultimate reality. So there is no big ultimate reality. There's no big emptiness that everything comes out of, but every appearance has ultimate reality and deceptive reality.

Deceptive reality is only deceptive when we misunderstand the appearing nature, thinking it's something that comes from the object or the experience, not experiencing it as a result of my own past behavior. So a pure appearing reality is a reality, an experience where we are aware of the object-subject interaction between all of it arising as results of the subject side's own past behavior, which we're aware of our experiences at that level, at eighth level bodhisattva bhumi or nirvana, if our path is not Mahayana, but we are Mahayana. So when we reach the point of no more mental afflictions or seeds for those because of our individual analysis, remember that, we reach that state where we are experiencing things as our seed ripening results from seed planting behavior.

What that's like experientially, I have no idea. But once we're there, we have an appearing reality that we are no longer deceived by, but there's still appearing reality happening, there has to be one. And that eighth level bodhisattva is not experiencing the emptiness of that appearing reality moment by moment directly yet, but they've experienced it at least once, probably more than once, to get to eighth level bodhisattva.

And they understand that their task at hand is to clear out the obstacles to being able to perceive directly the emptiness of all of those seed ripenings at the same time as the seed ripenings, which is what makes us omniscient. So there's more to say about that later. So Lobsangchuky Gyaltsen, he's wanting to dig into this connection between appearances and emptiness, also known as projections and emptiness, also known as interdependence or mutual arising or profound dependence, all these different terms that we've been using.

And are all helping us reach that deeper conceptual understanding that when we experience an appearance, we have to also be experiencing emptiness on some level. Emptiness has to be present for anything to appear. And we tend to, we will of course, when we learn emptiness independent and seeds ripening, we learn it as this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing.

And we're trying to reach the place where our imprints are coming out as think of one, you know, the other, that they arise together, mutual arising, which is what, how karma, the laws of karma becomes derived. So we're getting there. So Lobsangchuky Gyaltsen, he quotes from Milarepa as his tool to help us weave our thinking in terms of this mutual dependence of emptiness and appearing reality, to help us train ourselves to think of them as one thing with two sides of a coin, to trigger in our mind, knowing one when we perceive the other, which we're always stuck on perceiving the appearing side, we're wanting to know the emptiness of it.

And the advantage of that, as Rashina mentioned, is that when we have this awareness of the thing ripening and its emptiness, it means in the next moment, that thing could be anything. Yeah, it's already ripened as the ficus tree, my puny little ficus tree. But in the next instant, it could be anything.

And that can be scary and that can be liberating. So we'll get there. So let me show you Milarepa's.

Let me see if I get this all by itself this time. Nope. Wait a minute.

I'm sorry. Wrong one. There we go.

So Lobsangchuky Gyaltsen has said, when we think of ultimate reality, we tend to think it's a thing that exists, that everything comes out of. And he's trying to help us re-imprint what we mean by ultimate reality. And then he quotes Milarepa, this extraordinary meditator.

And it really, really sounds like he's talking about an ultimate reality that exists in and of itself. But Lobsangchuky Gyaltsen is going to show us how, even though it sounds that way, it's our mistake. I hope I can carry that out in the next few minutes.

Okay, so listen, here's Holy Milarepa talking to you. In the reality of ultimate truth, free of any obstacles, there does not even exist such a thing as enlightenment. There is no meditator and nothing to meditate upon.

There are no levels to be reached, no signs to mark the path. There's no such thing as the result, no perfect angel's body. And there's no such thing as wisdom.

As such, there could never be any passing beyond grief, nirvana. All the worlds in the three realms and every being upon them are nothing but projected images and names. Since the very beginning, nothing has ever happened.

Since the very beginning, there's never been anything born. There's no place where we've started from. And there's no simultaneous state.

No such thing as karma, nor its ripening. And thus, even the term cycle of pain could not ever be. This is how it will appear immersed within the ultimate.

So if you had not had the amazing explanation of what the direct perception of emptiness is like, and the effect it has on our mind stream afterwards, and we heard these words, wouldn't it sound like when we reach the ultimate, the reality of ultimate truth, it would just be a big blank nothingness. I mean, that's what it still sounds like to me when I read this. Everything I've set as my goal and my path and my task, he says, none of it exists.

Is that what he's saying? That none of it exists? Yeah, you got to say, right? You have to do this. Because it's true that none of it exists out there coming at me. There is no such thing as my Buddhahood, which is why there can be me experiencing me as totally enlightened being in paradise emanating.

If there was an enlightenment that we had to reach, we could never reach it. It has to not exist in order to become an appearance. So does that mean appearances don't really exist? You see how slippery the words are? Appearances are reality.

Our Buddhahood will be reality, but never a reality in it from it. Always a projected reality, a ripening reality, constantly ripening. Am I the only one? Everybody else is frozen but me.

Is it true that when we're in the direct perception of emptiness, there is no my Buddhahood, my path, my meditator, my... Yes. But does that mean all of existing reality has poofed into non-existence because we're sitting in the direct perception of emptiness? If I have to experience something in order for it to exist, then we would have to say yes.

There's nothing in existence while I'm in the direct perception of emptiness. But if that's the case, then I can't be in the direct perception of emptiness because there's no emptiness that is it in it from it that I could experience. There's only the emptiness of some existing thing.

Existing thing and appearing thing now being used as synonyms. But check your own mind when I say that existing thing and appearing thing and micromic seed ripening. Do I believe those are three synonyms? No, I think the existence is beyond my seeds ripening.

So I still have work to do. So what good is experiencing emptiness directly if while you are in that experience, there's no my Buddhahood, nirvana, the path to reach those two, the suffering world that gets me motivated to want to reach those two. If it all disappears, how can seeing emptiness directly help? If my me even disappears, then what's there to experience it? Really, these aren't questions that we can't answer, but we want to be grappling with them because it seems like a conundrum.

That conundrum is an obstacle to having the experience. But here's what I'll leave you with and then I'll go to my doctor's appointment. Milo Rapis says, this is how it will appear immersed within the ultimate.

It's almost like a pun. The direct perception of emptiness, which is finally free of all appearances, is itself an appearance that our old conventional way of experiencing appearances can't experience in that way, but has to be experiencing an appearance, the appearance of the empty nature of self and all existing things. He's saying it will look like in that state, none of that exists.

You won't think, oh man, none of that exists, because that's not direct perception. It's being in the empty nature of all existence. As I was grappling with all of this, I remember at some point I did come to at least intellectual realization that non-existence is impossible.

And it helped me so much because that means the non-existence of this subject side is impossible also, which is a big shift from, no, this me is going to end when the body dies. That was deep, deep seeds to believe that. And then when I was able to prove to myself and not experience it directly, but experience the conceptualization so clearly that the thing called subject side can never not exist, and object ripening can never not exist, and the interaction between can never not exist, that just changed the whole picture about dying, right, and moving on, and etc.

So please think about just this little bit, this thing between appearances and the emptiness that we're going for, that we're trying to experience directly, and how those cannot ever be separate experiences. And see if you can grapple with explaining it more clearly, finding words for yourself, and then sitting with it more clearly in a few minutes of Maha Mudra exploration, to see if we can catch the meaning of Mila Roprapa's statement. What he said is how it will appear to us when we are immersed within this ultimate, which is itself not a self existing thing, trying to get that a little clarity on that conundrum.

Okay, so we will stop there. Thank you very much. Remember that person we wanted to be able to help.

We have learned more. And we will use what we are learning someday to help them stop their suffering forever, someday. And that's a great, great goodness.

So please be really happy with yourself. And think of this goodness like a beautiful glowing gemstone that you can hold in your hands. Recall your own precious holy being, see how happy they are with you.

Feel your gratitude to them, your devotion to them, and offer them this gemstone of goodness. See them accept it and bless it. And then carry it with them right back into your heart.

Feel them there. See them there. Their love, their compassion, their wisdom, their guidance.

It feels so good. We want to keep it forever. And so we know to share it by the power of goodness that we've just done.

May all beings complete the collection of merit and wisdom. And thus gain the two ultimate bodies that merit and wisdom. So use those three long exhales to share this goodness with that one person, to share it with everyone you love, to share it with every existing being everywhere.

See them all filled with loving kindness, filled with wisdom, and may it be so. Okay, thank you, my dear, so much for the opportunity. I love sharing this course.